Friday, March 13, 2015

I want to climb a cliff, the highest I can find
And just jump out, to be free of these binds
It would be just a moment of freedom, that’s sure
But the landing would be the ultimate cure
An end to the haunting, the cage that I’m in
No more fighting of this horrible demon
It sits on my shoulders and whispers so loud
We’re alone together, even when there’s a crowd
It urges, it coaxes, it bribes and it whines
The promises always seem so divine
The end of the suffering, the pain that I feel

The ultimate stop of a nightmare so real

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

crazy ramblings...

Here I lay in the middle of the night
My eyes wide open though there is no sight
My mind keeps racing while the world is dark
Darting around as though running from sharks
My thoughts often feel as though they’re not mine
Dancing up to and over some line
That I dare not cross or focus on well
Or I’ll end up dreaming in my own little hell
The past is always there, waiting in the wings
Stalking me, scary but so mesmerizing
I want to run, but I’m frozen in fear
Knowing the past is nowhere near
Yet feeling as though it’s so close by
Floating in the darkness, I just want to cry
The life that I’ve entered has become such a trap
There is no escape, and I feel like I’ll snap
I’ve left the frying pan, jumped into the fire
And now I walk daily on such a tight wire
Afraid of falling from a dizzying height
And yet ready to jump, to end this fight
Over a bridge, in the car, from so high
Down to the cement, to crush out this lie
I pretend to be happy, calm and carefree
But there’s such a deep darkness behind the forced glee
The choices and options, decisions I’ve made
This game of life, as it’s meant to be played…
The final square to finish seems so far away
As I crawl painfully through every single day
I want to pick up the wheel and give it a fling
Just toss the board, and quit everything
Yank off the mask and torch the costume
Give in to the chaos, jump into the monsoon
As my mind goes spinning, so out of control

With so many thoughts that it might explode