crazy ramblings...

Here I lay in the middle of the night

My eyes wide open though there is no sight

My mind keeps racing while the world is dark

Darting around as though running from sharks

My thoughts often feel as though they’re not mine

Dancing up to and over some line

That I dare not cross or focus on well

Or I’ll end up dreaming in my own little hell

The past is always there, waiting in the wings

Stalking me, scary but so mesmerizing

I want to run, but I’m frozen in fear

Knowing the past is nowhere near

Yet feeling as though it’s so close by

Floating in the darkness, I just want to cry

The life that I’ve entered has become such a trap

There is no escape, and I feel like I’ll snap

I’ve left the frying pan, jumped into the fire

And now I walk daily on such a tight wire

Afraid of falling from a dizzying height

And yet ready to jump, to end this fight

Over a bridge, in the car, from so high

Down to the cement, to crush out this lie

I pretend to be happy, calm and carefree

But there’s such a deep darkness behind the forced glee

The choices and options, decisions I’ve made

This game of life, as it’s meant to be played…

The final square to finish seems so far away

As I crawl painfully through every single day

I want to pick up the wheel and give it a fling

Just toss the board, and quit everything

Yank off the mask and torch the costume

Give in to the chaos, jump into the monsoon

As my mind goes spinning, so out of control

With so many thoughts that it might explode